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XXIII. ACHILLES' HORSES. CAVAFY'S POEMS REWRITTEN. Nos. 20 -25
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The very moving poem Achilles Horses is taken from Book XVII of the Iliad which describes the fight over the body of Patroclus.
Also included here is the short poem King Demetrios. None of Cavafy's poems is very long but the shorter ones are particularly telling. He can take a small but vivid theme (not the big things - Life, Death, the Universe!) and express the whole of it in a few observant lines.
In King Demetrios, the Macedonians have turned away from said ruler and have embraced his rival Pyrros.
What does Cavafy tell us about this? - No great dramatics, no set scenes of despair and abandonment. Nothing of that.
Demetrios just puts aside the garments of royalty and slips away down the street like an actor after the play. Simple. Telling. Superb!
It is by avoiding 'dramatics,' by speaking in a rational and unemotional voice, that the Alexandrian poet moves us most.
Sometimes, however, in my view, Cavafy sells us far short of the complete subject. A reader of these pages has argued that I have put more into the poems than is there, and he cites my amplifications in Waiting for Barbarians. This reader, Jan Stuivenberg, makes the following point:
'I have still some doubts about your Cavafy project.
It is clear that you make wonderful and very readable recreations of his poems, and your introduction to page XXII of your website is interesting.
But is it not a characteristic of great poetry that it is NOT easy? You have to work hard to enter the world of the poet. Read the poem maybe a dozen times.
Take the Barbarians.
The question: "What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?" is answered by the simple: " The barbarians are to arrive today."
You 'rewrite':
'it's said the savage hordes will come today
thundering wildly into the city
on their diminutive fiery ponies
looting and raping girls, boys and women.'
What shall I say? If Cavafy would have wanted to be more explicit, he could have done so. But he didn't, on purpose.'
(Jan Stuivenberg has a website at www.stuif.com)
I cannot really argue against this, nor do I necessarily want to. It is not my intention, as I have already stated, to give a faithful rendition of Cavafy's verse but to rewrite it as English verse. And yes, I find that some of Cavafy is too bald to be satisfying and in such cases I fill out the material and add dramatic content. It is actually the case that I have cut some poems so that there is even less material than in the original. But I will leave you to track down these culprits for yourself!
I would also point out here that Cavafy's humour is very telling, and this aspect of his talent is shown to good effect in No. 24, The Province (Satrapy).
- Charles Bryant, 9 March, 2005.
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20. ACHILLES' HORSES
Achilles' immortal horses
watched with compassion the death
of their master's devoted companion, Patroklos,
brave virile and beautiful Patroklos.
warm tears flowed from their faithful eyes
to bathe the fateful earth where huddled
the much-adored and lovely charioteer.
shaking their silken heads,
tossing their unshorn manes
matted and soiled from gruelling war,
with anguished feet they pounded
the compacted, resonant earth.
they mourned their friend,
they mourned the manly Patroklos,
Patroklos the mortal, his spirit departed
from his mangled breathless body,
flown into the void of the hereafter,
into the dark.
Zeus saw the creatures' tears and grieved for them:
'unthinkingly at Peleus' wedding
i gave you in gift, my unhappy horses.
what business have you among these mortals,
dying creatures of the moment, toys of fate?
you are eternally youthful
eternally vulnerable
to the sorrows that beset these fragile souls.'
it was for this, for this,
this sad decay and dying
that they wept.
21. THAT'S HIM!
come from Edessa to Antioch,
in the new city unknown,
he continues his composition.
at last it is done.
eighty-three minted poems in all!
such labour! such intensity!
the weary lyrist is wrung,
his talent worn,
his head too full of words.
and it all seems so worthless,
all that effort wasted.
then a sudden thought lightens his mood.
he imagines them saying
'there goes the man, that's him, the poet.'
- like words to those the scribbler Lucian heard
as he lay dreaming.
22. KING DEMETRIOS
abandoned by the Macedonians
who favoured his rival Pyrros,
noble Demetrios
didn't react like a king.
he simply slid out of his golden robes,
kicked off the royal purple shoes.
dressed as a commoner, he left at once
like an actor when the play is done
changing out of his costume,
slipping away down the street.
23. THE OLD TOWN
you said: 'i'll emigrate,
find somewhere better than this.
whatever i do turns sour.
i feel as if entombed.
i'll not stay here and rot away.
here, my life is ruined,
my years run uselessly into the sand.'
you will not find another country
nor sail an unknown sea.
this town will dog you everywhere;
to whichever place you journey
our faded streets will follow.
you will age in these same districts,
turn grey in similar houses.
in your wanderings you will always end up here.
you spoiled your life in this crumbling town:
so it will be wherever you go.
24. THE PROVINCE (SATRAPY)
how awful, that you,
so noble, so accomplished,
never get a chance to prove yourself
in a fulfilling manner.
vulgar people stand in your way,
the mean and the indifferent.
it will be a sorry day
when you disregard your higher principles
and set out for Susa
and the court of Artaxerxes, the Great King.
of course, he will take you in,
offer you the governance of some province -
all that sort of thing.
so demeaning! not at all what you deserve.
despairing, you will feel you have to accede.
your intellect was formed for better things:
the acclamations of the people,
the praise of the philosophers,
the senate, the public stage,
crowned with crowns of laurel.
- you won't get these from Artaxerxes
or from governing some huge province.
without them, how you will droop
in an unfit setting.
25. IDES OF MARCH
i mustn't get above myself.
if i cannot curb ambition
i'll be extra vigilant
the higher i ascend
the greasy pole.
and when i get to the top -
leader of the Roman state -
assuming that persona,
i shall be very careful
going out in public
surrounded by my retinue.
should Artemidoros,
who cautioned Julius Caesar,
or somebody like him
thrust a letter into my hand, saying
(as he said to him)
'read this at once and heed my warning'
- i will scrutinise his paper in minute detail
disregarding people pressing to see me,
disregarding even vital business.
i will ignore the sycophants;
the senate itself will have to wait
- all those noble and learned gentlemen -
while i carefully study Artemidoros's words.
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Links:
Jan Stuivenberg's website
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